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Gillys Post on Relationships
Posted By chester on 2009-03-28 15:15
After reading about your husband leaving and starting a new life sure hit an emotion in me. I have been with the same man for almost 34 years, we've been together since I was 15 years old. I am now 51 years old, and feel like life is passing me by and I need more enjoyment out of life. See my husband has always been and still is a workaholic. Not making millions I might add, but thinks he has to work every minute of the day. He has gotten more satifaction out of someone saying good job, then to see his 2 children grow up. I have allowed him to enjoy all his hobbies, jobs whatever he wanted to buy ect. over the years, while I put my life on hold, and now all these years later I am wondering why? Because I love him, but now that love is turning into resentment for what he has done all these years in neglecting his children and me. I love him, but don't know if I like him. I have been trying to find the answers I am looking for in starting a new life without him, but it is not easy, this is the only life I have known since I was 15 years old. After reading Harmonic Wealth, watching the movie The Secret several times, the Success Principals, and now reading the book Happy for No Reason. I am starting to see, I have to do what is right for me, all my life I have been living for everyone but me, now it is my turn, but my advice to you is this...Did you have the kind of love and life that your heart desired when you were married to your husband? Something had to have been missing somewhere for one or the other. I know what is missing in my life and that is I have given my all, and that hasn't been good enough, but when I have tried to leave he says he'll change. My advice to you is this, a lepoard doesn't change it's spots, so even if you do get back together down the road, is it something you really want, or is it because it is someone that you're comfortable with? My daughter who is now 21 is searching for Love, I know it is from the neglect she got from her father, my son who is now 24 resents his father for never being there for him, never taking the time just to throw the football with him, so has turned to drinking, and is very depressed about his childhood, he just won't let go. So now at times I blame myself for this and for staying in a home where there were 2 parents, but only one that took the time. This hurt our kids badly, and this also hurts me. They are both wonderful people but very confused and mixed up. My advice to you is this, start a new life for yourself, look in the mirror and say "I can do this!" When you believe in yourself, others will too. Have you ever thought that your husband has been watching you and sees you are holding on just in case he gets tired and wants to come back? Let him see that you are happy without him, confident with out him, and I am sure everything will fall into place. Once you show him that you can be happy too, maybe he'll be the one sitting and wondering, did I make the right choice by leaving? Only time will tell, and you deserve to be happy in the present moment, so sit no longer, get up, get moving and enjoy life!
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Gillys update
Posted By gilly on 2009-03-29 04:21
Hi Chester,
Since I wrote my first post lots has happened. I am now over my Ex and have no desire to get back together with him. Like you the only life I have known since I was 16 was with him (will be 50 in June). But over the last couple of months I feel like I am becoming me again. Yes it has been hard since we broke up. I have gone though so many emotions and was so low at one time that I almost took my life. Still I am moving on, having fun not ready for a new man in my life yet, still got some stuff to work through. I'm lucky I have made some new friends who have been through the same thing and we laugh and cry together. I also have a Doctor who is supportive and understanding, I have so much love, abundance and things to be grateful for in my life. Thanks to authours like James and Louise Hay. Chester if I can give you some advice, I now realize deep down I was never going to find the happiness that I was looking in my marriage even though that was all I wanted. The only place to find happiness and fulfillment is withing. By the way Chester my kids are now much happier since we have separated, it was hard for them at first, I never put my Ex down infront of them and we still get together as a family now and then.
Finally I am moving on and it feels great!!!!!
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