Discuss It
Any ideas
Posted By gilly on 2009-01-09 05:58
Jillian
Last year my husband and I separated after 28 years of marriage. He just came home one day and said he had thought about things for months and had decided he wanted to end our marriage, no real reasons given. He is a workaholic and never had time for me or our three grown children. I moved back to his home town where is parents and siblings continue to treat me like one of the family. I have always had a great relationship with them. He now has a new woman in his life she is 10yrs his junior never been married or had children. I still have hope for us to be together again. Am I wasting my time or should I continue to hope and visualise us back together? We are still good friends and he helps me financially.
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moving on
Posted By barbe on 2009-01-11 01:46
It sounds like he has moved on, but you are staying in the past. He sounds like he is making a new life for himself and wants to remain on friendly terms with you. If it were me, I would be focusing on what I wanted to do now.
If he never had time for you in 28 yrs, what would be different if he came back?? My guess is nothing.
Second chances?
Posted By Cynthia on 2009-01-12 19:26
I think the better question you need to ask yourself is why you would want to be with him again? If you could be with him again, given the choice what would be different? Obviously you couldn't have the same relationship you once had with him before because it wasn't working. I speak from experience on this subject. I had divorced my husband after 8 years of marriage, I was not happy! I still loved him but we were not on the same page so to speak.He did not want the divorce. I was still close to his parents and we had split custody of the kids. Once he truly stopped chasing me (A very long story) and I could see that he had finally accepted our divorce, he was finally moving on. I could see a transformation in him. He began to make positive changes in himself. His confidence soared and he became a better person. In the mean time I did as well. We both developed as strong individuals and we now new what we wanted out of life. We both experienced other realtionships. His growth during this time had become very attractive to me, I could sense he still had feelings for me. In the end we started to date again and rediscover eachother. It was very exciting and yet there was no gaurantee it would work. After 2 years of divorce with us dating for a year of that we got remarried. We are still happily married and just celebrated 17 years of marriage on the second go around. The key to us being happy is we are not the same people and our marriage is nothing like it was the first time around. Communication, respect and never taking the other for granted are a big part of that change. We make time for eachother and we do it because we like to spend time with eachother. Anything is possible, and it's never a waste of time to dream. Just make sure you are doing it for the right reasons and take care of you first. There is nothing more attractive then someone standing on there own two feet with confidence, and the desire to accept nothing but the best out of a relationship. You deserve it! :-)
Be happy
Posted By Stevie on 2009-01-26 13:40
I think instead of visualizing getting back together, you should visualize yourself being happy. Imagine a time when you were so happy it made you cry - keep that feeling and know that you will experience it again with or with out him. Keep smilin!
What do you really want?
Posted By Jill on 2009-02-17 07:56
I left my husband after 28 years of living together. He was never there for me and our grown daughter. He too has someone else in his life. I have chosen instead to truly discover me. I've worked with a shaman for the last two years and am now going to the Harmonic Wealth Weekend next month. I've dated a few men and discovered what it is I don't want. What a great concept.
My question to you is what do you really want? You don't want your ex; it's just familiar to you. Instead delve inside -- who are you? What lights you? Spend time on you. I bet that was something you didn't do in your marriage. Now is your time. Now is your chance to make a difference in the world instead of pining over a dead relationship. See yourself for who you truly are. The world is a magnificent playground. Why aren't you asking yourself where you want to go, what you want to see, and how you want to pariticipate in this game? This is such an exciting time. Don't live your life looking in the rearview mirrow. What an awful way to spend your moments. Wake up and live, sister! You don't need a man for that.
amazing
Posted By chau on 2009-02-17 13:13
Hi I am 18 years old and still a teenager.I know nothing about relationship ( never date any guy ^-^) but I have a dream of being a singer and a model in Korea and that is my aspiration. Grown up as an Asian girl, I always love to sing, and dance.
I read Jillian's story and I realize that she should move on and live happily. This is a great chance for her to spend time by herself and get to know herself more. Learn from the past relatioship and know what is not working in that relationship so she can change, improve, empower and COMPLETE herself to receive and welcome a new, better relationship
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